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Support for bereavement

If you are feeling saddened by the death of The Queen, you’re not alone. Many people are in mourning for our country’s monarch and for her family, who have lost a mother, grandmother and great-grandmother.

The Queen’s death may also trigger some deep feelings of loss for those who are going through a personal bereavement of their own. If children have experienced death, it may bring feelings of grief to the surface again. The important thing to remember is that there is no right or wrong response and we should respect that everyone will feel differently.

Talking about your grief is an important part of getting through a bereavement. Choosing who to talk to about your feelings is a very personal decision. If you've lost a family member, someone else in your family may also be good to open up to because they're likely to understand how you're feeling. A close friend can be a good listener and a source of comfort and support, even if they haven't gone through this themselves.

There are lots of other sources of advice and support available for adults, young people and children.

Adult services

Helplines are available for support. For example the Cruse Bereavement helpline can be called on 0808 808 1677. They also have a dedicated webpage for the Queen.

Samaritans are available any time either on 116 123 or online.

Dorset Open Door acknowledges that everyone has a different experience of bereavement. The team will listen to you and help you find support and advice. Call 01305 361 361, email dhc.dorsetopendoor@nhs.net or visit them online.

The NHS website contains full advice and guidance.

Young people

There are numerous websites and blogs available to help you deal with a bereavement. Examples of some are:

Helplines are available for support. For example the Cruse Bereavement helpline can be called on 0808 808 1677. They also have a dedicated webpage for the Queen.

If you're concerned you're not coping, might be depressed, have trouble eating or sleeping, are thinking about hurting yourself, or you're not starting to feel better after a few months your GP may suggest you have counselling.

You can also talk to a teacher or tutor – you may be distracted or find it hard to concentrate at school or college for a while, so talking to a teacher you feel comfortable with can help them understand what you're going through and take a bit of pressure off you; special circumstances, such as bereavement, can sometimes be taken into account if you're having trouble with coursework or exams

The NHS website contains full advice and guidance.

Children

There are many resources available to help children through bereavement. Some examples are:

For education settings or parents supporting children and young people the advice is to:

  • use words they can understand and are age appropriate
  • showing children how you are feeling which can help to model and “normalise” the feelings they may be experiencing
  • give them the opportunity to ask questions alone or in a group
  • allow older children to handle more information
  • answer questions simply and honestly and if you don’t know the answer, say so
  • use pictures and storybooks for younger children or those with special educational needs
  • tell them that the reactions they are having are normal
  • accept there may be changes in behaviour or personality which is typical and they will return to their usual selves in time
  • help them to understand the relationship between their feelings and the loss
  • help them find safe ways to express their feelings e.g. by drawing, taking exercise or talking
  • pay extra attention, spend extra time with them, be more nurturing and comforting
  • concentrate on the positives on someone’s life, including their memories of The Queen.
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